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- Jessica
Friday, March 24
Wife vs Husband : SMS Humor
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!"
The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That Is Your Friend-Ship
What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...
Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!
Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!! just call me Bcoz incoming is free for me... my friend!!
Why did God Create 'you' before Me....? Ans: B'cause he wanted to Create a 'Sample', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*
Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always Time for Me 2 disturb You
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door
Q: Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A: Because they are afraid of what they have created!
A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!"
The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That Is Your Friend-Ship
What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...
Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!
Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!! just call me Bcoz incoming is free for me... my friend!!
Why did God Create 'you' before Me....? Ans: B'cause he wanted to Create a 'Sample', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*
Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always Time for Me 2 disturb You
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door
Q: Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A: Because they are afraid of what they have created!
A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?
Thursday, February 2
Naughty Text Messages
Naughty SMS
What do Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.
Have you heard about the new supersensitive condoms?
They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman.
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
"They'll never see you coming."
What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
Toys for Twats.
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
Why do we have orgasms?
How else would we know when to stop?
What do Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.
Have you heard about the new supersensitive condoms?
They hang around after the man leaves and talk to the woman.
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
"They'll never see you coming."
What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
Toys for Twats.
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
Why do we have orgasms?
How else would we know when to stop?
Monday, January 23
Fun Food Facts!
Funny Facts!
Pepper was at one time the single most expensive seasoning in the world.
- Pickarestaurant.com
Americans drink over 13 billion gallons of soft drinks each year.
-Foodreference.com
Watermelon is technically a berry, of which there are more than 50 varieties!
- Fukkad.com
Did you know that lemons contain more sugar than strawberries?
- FoodFunAndFacts.com
Approximately 3 billion pizzas are sold in the U.S. each year!
- Pizzaware.com
Lettuce is a member of the sunflower family.
- AGday.org
Ketchup, or catsup, originated in China in 1690 as a pickled fish sauce called ke-tsiap.
- HiddenValley.com
The average child will eat 1,500 peanut butter sandwiches by high school graduation.
- Bitoffun.com
Pepper was at one time the single most expensive seasoning in the world.
- Pickarestaurant.com
Americans drink over 13 billion gallons of soft drinks each year.
-Foodreference.com
Watermelon is technically a berry, of which there are more than 50 varieties!
- Fukkad.com
Did you know that lemons contain more sugar than strawberries?
- FoodFunAndFacts.com
Approximately 3 billion pizzas are sold in the U.S. each year!
- Pizzaware.com
Lettuce is a member of the sunflower family.
- AGday.org
Ketchup, or catsup, originated in China in 1690 as a pickled fish sauce called ke-tsiap.
- HiddenValley.com
The average child will eat 1,500 peanut butter sandwiches by high school graduation.
- Bitoffun.com
This is a poor country...please do something!
This informetion for all who are LOVE INDIA.
Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)
Monthly Salary : 12,000
Expense for Constitution per month : 10,000
Office expenditure per month : 14,000
Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000 (For a visit to Delhi & return: 6000 km)
Daily BETA during parliament meets : 500
Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train : Free (For any number of times) (All over India)
Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.)
Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free
Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
Local phone call charge : Free up to 1,70,000 calls.
TOTAL expense for a MP per year : 32,00,000
TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000
For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years : 8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 cores)
And they are elected by THE PEOPLE OF INDIA,
by the largest democratic process in the world,
not intruded into the parliament on
their own or by any qualification.
This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and
price hike on our regular commodities.......
Think of the great democracy Indians have.............
Any comments or comparison to our Free America!?
Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)
Monthly Salary : 12,000
Expense for Constitution per month : 10,000
Office expenditure per month : 14,000
Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000 (For a visit to Delhi & return: 6000 km)
Daily BETA during parliament meets : 500
Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train : Free (For any number of times) (All over India)
Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.)
Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free
Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
Local phone call charge : Free up to 1,70,000 calls.
TOTAL expense for a MP per year : 32,00,000
TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000
For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years : 8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 cores)
And they are elected by THE PEOPLE OF INDIA,
by the largest democratic process in the world,
not intruded into the parliament on
their own or by any qualification.
This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and
price hike on our regular commodities.......
Think of the great democracy Indians have.............
Any comments or comparison to our Free America!?
Saturday, January 21
IS IT SMS??
Why do we have orgasms?
How else would we know when to stop?
Can you say three two-letter words that mean small?
Is it in?
What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth?
Gladiator!
How else would we know when to stop?
Can you say three two-letter words that mean small?
Is it in?
What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair between his teeth?
Gladiator!
Loads of Chocolate!
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
They are both used as substitutes for meat.
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.
S&M&M.
What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
They are both used as substitutes for meat.
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be a hell of a blowjob!
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your pecker.
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